I’ve decided to stop being sad and focus on being an awesome human instead. Henry Rollins helps with this a lot.
Tomorrow I also a) head down to Sydney for an excursion and b)travel down to Singleton for the night and half of the day.
It’ll be a stressful day but worth it come night time when I step off the last train that I have to catch.
You made me think for so long that I couldn’t hate you.
That I simply wasn’t allowed to.
I can safely say that I hate you now.
In the cold hours of the morning and the heat of the summer, I know how much your presence made me hate you.
Your stupid smile that I remember or that way you had of insulting me as a ‘joke’.
That self righteous attitude you adopted so well and that special little way you had about you that reminded me that regardless of how hard I tried; I would never be enough for anybody. I was empty when I was with you, even as mere acquaintances.
I never was a grudge holder but I suppose everything will inevitably follow a pattern of change, just as you did.
I spent the past four days (almost) in the company of a boy with a wonderful heart and general persona.
He stayed over most of the time and I have never been more comfortable sleeping next to somebody than I was sleeping next to him. Never have I felt more supported either. This is a good advancement in my life and I’m glad it happened.
Isabel has actually become the friend that comes over with chocolate to see me when I’m upset.
I am so grateful that this girl actually exists and that we became friends, oh my god.
I’m going to go on a hiatus for a bit from everything.
I don’t feel very mentally well lately and staying away from all communication mediums should hopefully help.
After last night I got a call from my father at 7.15am to say hi and ask how I’ve been because I didn’t see him this week. Sorry but, 7.15am on a Saturday just to ask how I am? Now that’s just uncool.
After getting up and making myself some toast and a huge glass of water I left to go into town for Josh’s zombie short film and both Ethan and Cameron showed up to help out and be extras and I saw Cameron’s new pierced testicles. That was pretty much something that I regret seeing and it looked so painful.
After being in Newcastle for a while I ended up running into both Matt and Will on the same bus with that being a nice surprise. I missed out on seeing Maddie today which was pretty unfortunate but oh well.
It was nice to get out of the house and see people and stuff. Even if I had to walk forty minutes to get home because the bus went the wrong way.
Today just felt good.